Beginnings are hard. Uncertainty is the only certainty.
This is my third attempt at a blog since Myspace crashed spectacularly 6 or so years ago, and blogging became less of a thing that you did. Facebook and Twitter don’t lend themselves to extended musing, and I, like so many, became distracted by life.
I am known in my life as someone who has issues following through. The issues I have with completion are compounded by anxiety, trauma, what I suspect might be ADD, and radiation to the brain.
Tonight, I start anew, quieting the shrieking inner critics who continually discourage me from doing anything creative.
“You’ll never finish.” – The day I finish is the day I die.
“You’ll get distracted.” -Of course I will.
“There’s no reason to do any of this.” – Sure there is. Expression itself is reason enough.
“No one cares.” – Maybe. I don’t care about their opinions.
“No one wants to hear what you have to say.” – Perhaps. But at least the words will be out of my head for once. 🙂
I honor you, screaming wraiths of terror. You came from somewhere. I’m just going to wrap you in my big, squishy arms, and ignoring what you keep drumming over and over in my head:
“You’re never going to finish.” – What is this “finish” you speak of?
“You don’t even know who you are. How can you communicate yourself to anyone else?” – All part of the process. We can learn together, my blog and I.
“And why would you even try? The internet is a slushheap, full of dreamers. No one wants what you have to give.” – This one is the hardest. How ’bout this? Never in the history of man, has there been an easier way to communicate with people around the globe. I’d be spitting in the face of everyone who lived a life of quiet desperation if I refused to try to put myself out there in this big old world. How about THAT?
Hush now, terror and despair.
Who I am, is the morning.
I am Dawn. I am full of sunshine and belief in humanity. Distract me all you wish, my light touches the people around me, and I have so very much to give.
I’m trying again.